It’s a lot easier to demonstrate your desire to submit and particularly serve when you already have a Mistress. But what do you do when you’re single?
Showing up at an event alone, when everyone else in the world seems coupled (or tripled or quadrupled) up, can feel daunting. I still think you need to get over it. The single best way to find a Mistress is to get off your ass and to start meeting actual people face to face.
Now, let’s say you take this advice, and you find yourself at an event, not really knowing anyone and unsure of what to do. How on earth can you project your interest in being an available submissive?
- Introduce yourself to the event’s host or hosts. Have a brief conversation and thank them for putting the event together. Ask him, her or them if there is anything you can help with.
- Try mixing and mingling with other people at the event. Strike up conversations and listen to what other people have to say.
- Find ways to make yourself useful. Sound a little like the last part of No. 1 up there? It is. And it matters (See below).
- When the event is over, say goodbye to everyone you met, ask anyone you liked if you MAY add them as friends on FetLife, and finally thank the host or hosts again for their hard work.
- Follow up with people you met on FetLife. Be personable, but not forward. Tell them that you enjoyed meeting them and look forward to seeing them again.
Okay, so this “making yourself useful” stuff. Here’s an example of something rather remarkable that I witnessed at a recent social. A submissive, who is currently under-consideration for service to a dominant, took it upon himself to help clear tables, refill water pitchers, and so on.
He was maybe a little too aggressive in moments, but he stood out. Everyone noticed his eagerness to serve and were he “on the market” for a dominant and followed the other four steps above, he would have done wonders to improve his chances.
In many ways, it was beautiful to watch this young man working on behalf of everyone. I know the organizers appreciated it, and I know many women there took notice of him. And in a buyer’s market for dominant women, that’s a huge, huge move on his part.
He made the event more pleasant for everyone, while also showing that he was keen work to make others happy. That’s the essence of submission: giving up yourself to please your dominant.
Believe it or not, a single dominant woman would rather find a man who will worship her by taking out the trash and loading the dishwasher, rather than one who only wants to worship her pussy.